27 November 2010 @ 02:23 pm
LJ Idol Week 4 - The Elephant in the Room  
He drew a breath to speak but before he could utter a sound Caroline’s lips found his in a brief, scorching kiss. He was too shocked to protest and his lips parted beneath the pressure of hers. He gasped as she pushed him back against the wall deepening the kiss and causing liquid heat to spread throughout his body. This had been what he had wanted for as long as he could remember, a strong women, virile and sensual, not afraid to take what she wanted.

Anything appear wrong with the piece above, anything out of place, off- kilter. Growing up this scene was portrayed everywhere I looked. In novels, the sweet, always virginal girl was being rescued by the charismatic millionaire. Debra Winger was being rescued from her humdrum life by the handsome naval officer. Sue Ellen was fighting for her happily ever after with her abusive, cheating husband who despite everything always had her heart. In every single story, the man was the strong dominating sexual force and the woman was the one who was letting him take what he wanted.

I grew up watching women be rescued; from poverty, from horror, from depression, from life, from themselves. There was no one around to show me anything different. My gran held down three jobs but also made sure dinner was on her husbands table every night. My mum deferred to my dad in every major decision in our lives. And then of course there was the sex. My only education in sex was that nice girls didn’t like it. Sex was something for men to enjoy and woman to endure. The rules were simple, you grew up, saved yourself for the man you loved, got married and had sex just long enough to have babies. It was the way the world worked.

But there is something that nice girls don’t talk about. The giant grey elephant in the room that we are supposed ignore or even better hide with a nice throw rug.

You want to know to know the secret? You want to know what all us nice girls aren’t supposed to talk about?

Women. Like. Sex. Yep, there I said it. Not only do we like it, but we want it; we think about it, we dream about it, we fantasise about and we certainly like actually having it. We are comfortable with this, but world seems to have a problem with it. A woman with a strong sexual drive is not seen as sexually aware but as sexually promiscuous. It is an open truth that many men watch porn, but is a hidden secret that just as many women read or watch porn too.

I have two best friends, both of them highly sexual. They have had multiple partners, enjoy experimental sex, are comfortable with their sexuality and in going after what they want. The main difference between them is one is male and the other is female.

The guy is celebrated, and for the most part is left to his own devices. Every now and again a joke will be made about how much of a stud he is, but in the most part he is left alone. The girl however is lectured, moralised, frowned upon and has had more than one of her friends try to ‘save’ her from her lifestyle.

‘Doesn’t she want to meet a nice guy and settle down?’

‘Everyone knows nice girls don’t sleep around’

‘No guy is ever gonna want a girl who has slept with more people than he has’

Most of it rolls off her like water off a ducks back. But every now and again the lectures, the stares and the whispers can push her a bit too far. We sat up late one night talking about it, how many times we have had sex since we lost our virginity. In the end there wasn’t much difference between our numbers, the only difference was my number had been with one partner, hers had been with several.

In this day and age of equal opportunities and financial liberations, when a woman can run for office, lead a multinational corporation or fight and die for her country how insane is it that the minute sex is brought up we go back several hundred years and, if we dare to actually go after what we want, we might as well paste a large scarlet A on our chest. Sexual liberation may have taken place a few decades ago, but when it comes to true sexual freedom for women, we still have a long way to go.

This has been my entry for [livejournal.com profile] therealljidol
 
 
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