19 October 2011 @ 09:33 pm
LJ Idol - Topic 1  
When you pray, move your feet.

I talk to God as much as I talk to Satan 'cause I want to hear both sides
Does that make me cynical?
There are no miracles
And this is no miraculous life

We walk into the tide


I am a religous person, well I am in so much that I believe in God (I think the bible is a load of old tosh but that is a discussion for another day). What I don't believe though is that God is the answer to all our prayers, or the source of all our problems.

I have had many events in my life that would have me questioning whether God exists. I suffered several miscarriages and many years of childlessness before being blessed with my son. I have watched people I love suffer with cancer, I've also lost people I love to it. I live in a world where children are hurt, natural disasters claim the lives of thousands, millions and at times like these it is easy to ask - "If there is a God why would he let this happen"

But by the turn of the other hand I have also bore witness to miracles. I watched my mother recover from cancer when we were told to expect the worst. I watched my son survive being born at 24 weeks with less than a 5% chance of survival and seen him defy every prediction to become the bright bubbly boy I love. I have seen the kindness of strangers in times of need - when you open a christmas gift box lovingly prepared and gift wrapped by the local church in a sterile hospital for a child you are told would never see that day it is easy to believe in miracles and the presence of a divine power.

But as comforting as it is to blame or thank a divine power for these things, the hard truth is human beings are at the heart of everything. People who do evil deeds, do so of their own violition and their own free choice. We pollute our planet on a daily basis and then we wonder why it roars back. My miracle son is as much a miracle of modern science and brilliant doctors than an unseen deity. It was a flesh and blood person who handwrapped that Christmas gift for my baby all those years ago, someone with a good heart and a kind soul giving up his or her time to put a smile on someone elses face and allowing them to believe in miracles and although there were times I may have prayed for a miracle when my son was in hospital, it was the love and support of my friends and family that got me through each day with my heart unbroken and sanity intact.

It took me a long time to learn that although God and faith can be strong companions, it is my own drive, my will, my strength, my love for my family and friends and their love for me that drives me forward.

To me religon is no longer about sermons, and brick walls or about good and evil, heaven and hell. I believe in God when I see the sun breaking through a cloud on a bright day, when I feel the crisp crunch of autumn leaves underneath my feet, when I see my child smile a smile full of mischief and enjoyment, full of a joy of life that only children truly appreciate.

But although all of these things help me believe in him, I no longer put my faith solely in him, I trust my own heart, rely on my family and depend on my friends. It is me that keeps my world turning day by day

My faith may keep me going, but it is my own two feet, moving one step after the other that pushes me forward.

This has been my entry for week one of [livejournal.com profile] therealljidol
 
 
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goodbyebird: P&R best of friends[personal profile] goodbyebird on October 19th, 2011 08:40 pm (UTC)
I trust my own heart, rely on my family and depend on my friends. It is me that keeps my world turning day by day

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[identity profile] mrstotten.livejournal.com on October 19th, 2011 08:52 pm (UTC)
you are a lightning fast ninja!!!

but many thaks for the ♥ it took me a long time to beat that guilt ridden catholic girl outta me and realise that the people I have in my life are my true rocks :)

Also..... have some awesome iconage
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goodbyebird: Community it is now[personal profile] goodbyebird on October 19th, 2011 09:06 pm (UTC)
Better believe I track my girls!

A loving person such as yourself deserves to be surrounded by nothing less.

Awww I do love that icon. i actually cleared a couple of spots for Avengers and Drive, but I think I'm gonna snag this one.
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[identity profile] mrstotten.livejournal.com on October 26th, 2011 08:07 pm (UTC)
snag snag snag she is very very pretty and the hug in yours is ♥
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[identity profile] jayfray18.livejournal.com on October 19th, 2011 08:42 pm (UTC)
That is EXACTLY how I feel, and think, and believe, I've just never verbalised it before.

Beautifully written, with thought provoking passages. Well done, m'dear.


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[identity profile] mrstotten.livejournal.com on October 19th, 2011 08:56 pm (UTC)
why thank you very much honey

HUGS
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[identity profile] basric.livejournal.com on October 19th, 2011 08:49 pm (UTC)
Nice first entry. (=
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[identity profile] mrstotten.livejournal.com on October 19th, 2011 08:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks :) was so ready for an intro post then Gary as usual changed it on us :)
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[identity profile] mitakay.livejournal.com on October 19th, 2011 11:58 pm (UTC)
I LOVE this post- you managed to sum up exactly how I feel- and I can't write for shit, LOL!- so thanks. :)
Beautifully written, lots to think about here...
very nicely done.
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[identity profile] mrstotten.livejournal.com on October 26th, 2011 08:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you honey and I totally doubt that, you are way too awesome
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[identity profile] veritas-st.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2011 07:59 am (UTC)
OMG I am actually crying.

Why must you make me cry with this stunning piece?? WHY?

Oh and THIS...all of it. So freaking true. Love you Mags
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[identity profile] mrstotten.livejournal.com on October 26th, 2011 08:08 pm (UTC)
love you the same!!!

and I make you cry and you make me beg, we have a codependent relationship of doom
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[identity profile] kehlen-crow.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2011 09:44 am (UTC)
Loved it!


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[identity profile] mrstotten.livejournal.com on October 26th, 2011 08:12 pm (UTC)
thanks for the catch :)

Also really glad you enjoyed it
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[identity profile] tamaraland.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2011 01:10 pm (UTC)
Excellent
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[identity profile] mrstotten.livejournal.com on October 26th, 2011 08:12 pm (UTC)
thank you very much :)
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[identity profile] reveria.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2011 02:27 pm (UTC)
<3
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[identity profile] mrstotten.livejournal.com on October 26th, 2011 08:13 pm (UTC)
thank you honey :)
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[identity profile] maerhysetc.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2011 03:40 pm (UTC)
I have goosebumps, possibly because your story emotionally resonates with me, but also because the structure of your prose has a wonderful flow that paces your thoughts so that I can focus on each side (as it were) and take a moment to reflect. In a world of writing where tension is ramped up to 11 and it's hard to remember what the last paragraph covered, this is fresh yet lingering.

My favorite bit is this: To me religon is no longer about sermons, and brick walls or about good and evil, heaven and hell. I believe in God when I see the sun breaking through a cloud on a bright day, when I feel the crisp crunch of autumn leaves underneath my feet, when I see my child smile a smile full of mischief and enjoyment, full of a joy of life that only children truly appreciate.

I love the reappropriating and renaming of what religion is for you and now allowing someone else to define it so that you can't call it your own.
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[identity profile] mrstotten.livejournal.com on October 26th, 2011 08:14 pm (UTC)
I literally have no words to say!! this was a gorgeous review and left me with a smile on my face ALL day.

I'm really glad it worked for you and that they style flowed.

You seriously made my day
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[identity profile] nachekana.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2011 05:08 pm (UTC)
There is no gay porn in this entry.
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[identity profile] autumn-lilacs.livejournal.com on October 25th, 2011 06:26 pm (UTC)
lawl
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[identity profile] mrstotten.livejournal.com on October 26th, 2011 08:15 pm (UTC)
Yes there is!!!!

just you need to be a gay slash dragon to see it x
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[identity profile] wolfden.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2011 12:05 am (UTC)
My faith may keep me going, but it is my own two feet, moving one step after the other that pushes me forward.

I love that line This is really well written and very accessible (even for people like me without that same faith).
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[identity profile] mrstotten.livejournal.com on October 26th, 2011 08:16 pm (UTC)
thank you very much. I wanted to be able to reach people with a variety of beliefs so I am really glad that came across
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[identity profile] m-malcontent.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2011 01:44 am (UTC)
Very nice entry. I agree with much of this.
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[identity profile] mrstotten.livejournal.com on October 26th, 2011 08:18 pm (UTC)
thank you :) and love your icon :)
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shadowwolf13[personal profile] shadowwolf13 on October 21st, 2011 03:45 am (UTC)
It's the most amazing things that show us that there is some higher power out there. Beautiful entry.
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[identity profile] whipchick.livejournal.com on October 22nd, 2011 06:02 am (UTC)
Thanks for sharing your journey of faith.
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[identity profile] wrensgirl.livejournal.com on October 22nd, 2011 03:28 pm (UTC)
This is a very powerful message.
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[identity profile] sketchybrunette.livejournal.com on October 23rd, 2011 01:42 am (UTC)
I like this line:

We pollute our planet on a daily basis and then we wonder why it roars back.
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[identity profile] kittyfaelis.livejournal.com on October 23rd, 2011 03:23 pm (UTC)
Beautiful entry and so very true!
*hugs*
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[identity profile] mymisguided.livejournal.com on October 23rd, 2011 07:22 pm (UTC)
Thank you for sharing this with us!

I also like how the formatting of your journal enhances the story with the different colors, it's great for impact. =)
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[identity profile] nialyind.livejournal.com on October 23rd, 2011 07:30 pm (UTC)
I liked the distinction you drew between belief and faith. We can't ignore the role that humans have in making all these things happen, after all.
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[identity profile] myrna-bird.livejournal.com on October 23rd, 2011 07:44 pm (UTC)
Lovely post. I like how you gave examples for more than one way to see things too.
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[identity profile] cacophonesque.livejournal.com on October 24th, 2011 03:55 pm (UTC)
I love that notion that human beings are at the heart of everything. That aligns very well with my own views of religion and the world, as well.
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[identity profile] basric.livejournal.com on October 24th, 2011 11:32 pm (UTC)
Well written
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[identity profile] mrstotten.livejournal.com on October 26th, 2011 08:17 pm (UTC)
thank you very much :)
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[identity profile] autumn-lilacs.livejournal.com on October 25th, 2011 06:27 pm (UTC)
Very, very nice!!! My favorite part is this: To me religon is no longer about sermons, and brick walls or about good and evil, heaven and hell. I believe in God when I see the sun breaking through a cloud on a bright day, when I feel the crisp crunch of autumn leaves underneath my feet, when I see my child smile a smile full of mischief and enjoyment, full of a joy of life that only children truly appreciate. :-)
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[identity profile] mrstotten.livejournal.com on October 26th, 2011 08:17 pm (UTC)
that line is a direct result of learning from a woman who hammered home

describe, describe describe

and who threatened me with death for the overuse of the word like :)

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tjoel2[personal profile] tjoel2 on October 27th, 2011 02:06 am (UTC)
Great insight into who you are and what you believe. Well written!
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[identity profile] pixie117.livejournal.com on October 27th, 2011 07:46 pm (UTC)
Beautiful. There have been miracles in my own life that made me feel a strong sense of a helping hand from above.

Well done. You portrayed your emotions well here.
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